Somewhere, over the rainbow, my baby Rio needs a call from his mom…
Earth to Rio. Come in Rio…
[ohhhhh LAWWWD. Mom, I thought I was in charge of the narrative. It’s after 11pm and you know what I’m doing after 11pm…]
Probably missing me and I bet you knew I would be calling… I know you’re watching; you probably predicted this call!
[I think you’re … having a delusion]
Oh NO, RIO! Did I just project onto the Rainbow Bridge?!
[Yes, you did, Mom and you are not respecting my doodies up here. You think I’m bored? You think I’m watching you every second? You act like there is nothing to do here… it’s 11pm – didn’t I tell you all the cats get a fresh salmon night cap around 9:30 and start making mousse about now? They are filling up the litter boxes as we speak and if you had any respect for me at all you’d consider my schedule when you just THINK I’m sitting by the phone. ]
I’m sorry, Rio. You know how I like to imagine stuff…. You didn’t tell me the menu was so robust! If the kitties get late night fish, what do the dogs get?
[Well all the REST of them get to clean up after the kitties, but I don’t get SHIT …. I am TAKING CARE OF MY MOM]
I love your funny jokes. What about the puppies? You can’t tell me you are only on clean up… I know you got more jobs…
[Ugh. If you MUST KNOW there is a special entry for the baby dogs at the bridge and I am the program director for the Rainbow Babies.]
I’m so happy you have a nursery! And just as a matter of business, would it be accurate to report to the fellow foster moms and dads that in the event they have to let go too soon, you’re posted there at the receiving gate? And can I also say, then, that if there happen to be any dogs that arrive that we didn’t meet, you will be able to “have our back” and take care of all those dogs and make sure they all get love?
[OMG are you trying to control my death? But also yes… send them all a fax and tell them I promise. But also, for real, what do you need because kitty farts are Pavlov’s bell around here, okay. And we dogs are devoted to our service to the cats]
Well I can’t figure out how to describe infinity ….
[THE LINE HAS BEEN DISCONNECTED]
Did you cut the cord? … hel-…Helllooooo